The most wonderful time of the year … or the most stressful?

/ Heather Davis Nelson / 2 Comments

christmas-in-sc-21

Christmas stockings hung by a crackling fire. A mug of a hot steamy beverage — like hot cocoa or apple cider. Peaceful Christmas carols playing in the background. The cheerful hum of conversation with beloved friends and family. Twinkling lights from an evergreen tree decorated with ornaments spanning the decades. Children’s choirs singing. Goodwill and cheer.

Or frantic shopping for the relative who always disdains whatever you buy. Addressing card after card after card … to friends you only contact once a year with exchanged annual updates and Christmas pictures. Trying to fit in every party. Wrapping gifts incessantly. A higher level of stress and angst.

Which describes this season for you? And is the first paragraph merely an ideal we all hope for but will never obtain? If you live in paragraph two, how can you move to paragraph one? Is it possible?

I had a conversation with a good friend last week, and she told me that she wasn’t doing all of the stress this year. She was going to emphasize what was important, and she’s intentionally spending time going out with friends rather than wandering aimlessly in the mall for hours looking for gifts for people who don’t need anything. Another friend decided with her husband that they weren’t sending Christmas cards this year — and they both felt instant freedom in this. More time freed up to do what’s actually important. I’ve known people who gave generous year-end gifts to charity instead of spending exorbitant amounts of money on gifts to family. (and who needs it more, really? especially this year!)

Now I’m not saying that buying gifts for family and friends or sending out Christmas cards is essentially stressful or moves away from the meaning of the season. I’ve done both — and actually had fun doing it — but I am asking you how you make it the most wonderful time of the year instead of the most dreaded. Ideas? Thoughts? Tell them — for the good of all of us!

leaning on the everlasting arms

/ Heather Davis Nelson / 2 Comments

What a fellowship, what a joy divine,
Leaning on the everlasting arms;
What a blessedness, what a peace is mine,
Leaning on the everlasting arms.

Leaning, leaning, safe and secure from all alarms;
Leaning, leaning, leaning on the everlasting arms.

O how sweet to walk in this pilgrim way,
Leaning on the everlasting arms;
O how bright the path grows from day to day,
Leaning on the everlasting arms.

What have I to dread, what have I to fear,
Leaning on the everlasting arms;
I have blessed peace with my Lord so near,
Leaning on the everlasting arms.

We closed our worship service at my church this morning with this old hymn. It was the fitting closing to a sermon on Deuteronomy 33: a series of final blessings Moses gives to the Israelites, tribe by tribe, which ends with these verses: “There is none like God, O Jeshurun [a term for the Israelites], who rides through the heaves to your help, through the skies in his majesty. The eternal God is your dwelling place, and underneath are the everlasting arms….” Noah Huss, a seminary student, was preaching this morning and one thought in particular stood out to me. He highlighted the idea that we, like Israel, although held secure by our God’s everlasting and strong arms, continually stray after idols and other things which ARE NOT God. The irony is that we are held by God and yet we often anxiously ask Him for new idols to which we cling desperately … as if what we’re holding is better and more powerful than the ONE who holds us. We forget where we are.

And so then my prayers begin to look something like the following:

“God, please work out my schedule today so that I can do what I want to do (and am planning to do) when I want to do it. Don’t let me be interrupted.”

“Lord, would you heal this terrible cold I have? Quickly? And keep me from getting any more colds this winter?”

“Father, would you provide more money for us? So that we can dress in nicer clothes and drive shiny new cars and be able to buy a home?”

“God, please keep trouble and suffering away from me. Will you please deliver me from the current troubling situation? And give me strength so that I can think that I did this on my own?”

Can you relate? Perhaps not to how obvious those examples are … and rarely do my prayers actually sound this obviously idolatrous. But if I’m honest, this is what’s often in my heart. NOT that God doesn’t care about every detail of my life, like the fact that I’m fighting a cold or that we would like to live in an apartment with 2 bedrooms one day, but His heart desire is that I would want HIM more than I want any of these things or comforts. And that my prayers would begin with resting in Him. Realizing I have what makes me most secure already — that I have true comfort and eternal treasures.

Where do you struggle? What do you run to the most? And what helps you to remember your secure place in the arms of our Father God?

For those of you “reading” to whom this concept seems quite strange, I hope and pray that you will one day know the security of this God-embrace I’m discussing. It’s only possible as our brokenness of sin that separates us from God is restored through the saving work of Christ on the cross. And, oh, what true security and comfort is found in God’s embrace to us in Christ! It is a wonder that we who know its comfort struggle so …

 

the Phillies win (and Philadelphia with them)

/ Heather Davis Nelson / 1 Comment

There is a horn honking loudly as a car zooms by our apartment. Any other night at 12:45, I would be ticked. Tonight I’m excited. Earlier we heard fireworks. More than I’ve ever heard — perhaps even including 4th of July. What’s set the city ablaze?

The Phillies won the World Series! In part 2 of the longest ever game 5 of the World Series … and perhaps the worst weather for it as well. Between the slashing rain on Tuesday evening and tonight’s 20’s wind chill, determination and perseverance were needed to push through to win over Tampa Bay Rays.

The whole city has been anticipating this all week. Perhaps even for the 25 years since any major Philadelphia team has won a major championship. There’s been a buzz in the air, and it’s only increased the closer we came to this game. Apparently, “the city’s biggest party ever” broke loose on Broad Street as soon as the game ended tonight. For a city known to be fiercely loyal (expressed in the fans’ famous “boos” and their relentless cheers even through rain), this win means that they, too, have won. It’s a victory we all share in (even those of us who are “transplants”). Read more about it here: http://www.philly.com/philly/sports/phillies/20081029_ap_fanscelebratefirstphilliestitlein28years.html

Go Phillies! Now I MUST go to bed …

true hope in a troubled time

/ Heather Davis Nelson / Leave a comment

As an American in tune with the news of the day (and often the hour thanks to news radio), I find it inescapable to realize that life as we’ve known it is undergoing a drastic change. People are losing their assets, their jobs, their homes, and with all of it their hope.  Or are they?

It seems as if we as a culture are experiencing the reality that hope cannot be stored in money. It’s a truth we try not to live by as Americans who are wealthy by the world’s standards. We buy what we do not need with money we do not have. And at some point, the security promised by money and material possessions evaporates. Yet that fits with ancient wisdom. Listen to this, penned centuries ago by a Biblical writer: “Those who love money will never have enough. How meaningless to think that wealth brings true happiness!” And see if this doesn’t sound like it was written just for us today: “There is another serious problem I have seen under the sun. Hoarding riches harms the saver. Money is put into risky investments that turn sour, and everything is lost.” Both are from the book of Ecclesiastes, found in the Old Testament (chapter 5, verses 10, 13, 14).

The question before us today is similar to the one that confronted the philosopher of Ecclesiastes. What is worth living for and hoping in? Our American answer for troubled times is quite different than that of Ecclesiastes. It’s as if we’ve shifted our hope from Wall Street to the White House. The new President will be our savior. He will bolster the economy with his proposed tax cuts (and raises), reform healthcare in the U.S. either through a tax credit or by offering a universal plan, bail out bad mortgages, bring peace to the Middle East. Really? All of that power will be held by one man?

I beg to differ. I think our hopes are misguided if we think either Obama or McCain can do all that’s promised. On November 4th, I will be going to the polls to cast my vote as a responsible citizen, but I have a hope that transcends the outcome of the election (one way or the other). God is King over all, and His Kingdom is one that can’t be shaken (regardless of how much my earthly kingdom is shaken). It will be realized one day.

I don’t know when, but I am hoping because I see evidence of that Kingdom already breaking in on earth. My life has been changed by Jesus Christ. And it is being changed by Jesus Christ. I am not yet what I will be, but there are glimpses and hints. Seth and I don’t fight as often or as tenaciously as we did in our first year of marriage. I give in more often (and so does he). I don’t say everything that pops into my head. I think before speaking (amazing concept, I know). When I inevitably screw up, I am slightly quicker to ask forgiveness from him. And I could go on. If I am being changed, and I see others’ lives who are being changed in similar ways through a relationship with Christ. Through Cresheim Valley Church and my job as a counselor at Chelten Baptist Church, I am part of communities of people whose lives are being transformed (and I get to watch and sometimes be part of that!). There is hope that transcends our shaky economy and uncertain politics.

And the writer of Ecclesiastes agrees. He sums it up as follows: “That’s the whole story. Here’s my final conclusion: Fear God and obey his commands, for this is everyone’s duty.” (chapter 12, verse 13)

Westminster, Wheaton, & the Windy City

/ Heather Davis Nelson / 3 Comments

How do all of these relate? Allow me to explain (after a long blogging absence!!) — Westminster Seminary sent Seth and me to Chicago to represent them at the grad school fairs at Moody Bible Institute and Wheaton College this week. So we were whisked down the proverbial “Memory Lane” together as we took turns showing each other the “old haunts” from college days. Some of which overlap, since he attended undergrad at Moody (located in Chicago) and I went to Wheaton (located about 20 miles west of Chicago).

From the novelty of the Millennium Park and Wheaton’s state-of-the-art “Todd Beamer Student Center” to the familiarity of the Education Dept in Blanchard Hall and the College Ave. Metra station, I enjoyed experiencing these with Seth for the first time. As well as being introduced to the places he loved as a college student, like the Chicago Pizza Oven Grinders (at 2121 Clark St) and “the beach” on Lake Michigan. The worlds intertwined surprisingly, like (1) staying with his best friend from Moody, Brandon, and his wife Alexa, on campus at Wheaton because he now attends Wheaton Grad School (2) running into my Residence Life supervisor, Bruce, from the year I was an R.A. at Wheaton — at Moody, where he’s now working in their Residence Life! (3) Seth seeing a guy he was an R.A. with at Moody — at Wheaton, where he now works in Residence Life! (4) meeting up with another Wheaton friend, Katie, while visiting Seth’s favorite Chicago restaurant (Pizza Oven Grinders) — and then seeing her the next day as we walked through Memorial Park in Wheaton. Moments like this make me think that the world really is smaller than I thought … !!

A few more of the favorite familiar places we visited:

  • The Tower! Seth and I made our marriage official by ringing the bell in the Blanchard Hall tower, a long-held tradition of Wheaton students and alumni.
  • Anderson Commons (aka “Saga” or the Wheaton Dining Hall) — the food there still is really good.
  • Tate’s Ice Cream in downtown Wheaton
  • Egg-lectic Cafe in downtown Wheaton
  • METRA — train into Chicago
  • Danada Square in Naperville
  • Walking along the Chicago River
  • “The Signature Room” on the 96th floor of the John Hancock building
  • Water Tower Place, specifically the 2nd floor of the Borders

And a few more of the new places I noticed (some things change a lot in 7 years!):

  • the amazing new Todd Beamer Student Center at Wheaton, underneath Anderson Commons — these “kids” have it so good now, with their pool table and ping-pong tables and choices of two cafes!
  • Millennium Park in Chicago … wow!
  • Wheaton Public Library — a far cry from the one I went to
  • Longfellow School — the elementary school where I student taught has been completely renovated, literally from the ground up

What was most different from the visit was, of course, the absence of most of the friends who made my college experience come alive. With the exception of the refreshment of having coffee with one of my dear friends, Kristin, and her husband Matt, on Saturday afternoon. To catch up “like old times” in the “new” Caribou Coffee. Otherwise, my college friends are scattered around the globe, literally. From Julie, my sophomore year suitemate who now lives in Vancouver, to Katherine, my senior year roommate who lives in Birmingham, and Leslie, another senior year housemate who lives in China. With the exception of a future Homecoming visit, Wheaton will never quite be the same place.

10 reasons I’m praying for NOLA as Gustav approaches

/ Heather Davis Nelson / 1 Comment

10. Our team of 19 just arrived back barely a week ago from a mission trip to NOLA doing Katrina relief.

9. It will be expensive to get our team back down there so soon …

8. Some homes still look like this THREE YEARS AFTER Katrina hit.

7.What havoc will a hurricane wreak on the FEMA trailers? Forcing people to lose their 2nd home before their 1st one is finished seems quite the tragedy. (They’re still very much present in some of the worst hit parishes, like East Orleans and the lower 9th ward).

6. Many doubt whether the levee problem has been sufficiently addressed. In fact, they’re still leaking. And of the 20% that were repaired after the breach … what about the remaining 80%? Read more at this link: http://www.nola.com/hurricane/index.ssf/2008/08/incomplete_levee_system_leaves.html

5. Are the looters already out prowling? A friend we met last week says some people were hesitant to evacuate out of fear of their homes being looted if they left.

4. Many homes were not re-built in an elevated condition because of the expense of doing so. If the same thing happens as Katrina, these homes will be devastated … right after being renovated.

3. Why so soon? It seems many have just gotten over the post-traumatic stress caused by witnessing such an event with so much personal devastation. Everyone we met there has a story, many of them quite heart-wrenching.

2. Those survivors who we met: Lisa, John, Minette, Sherry, and Gary (for starters). Their faces come to mind as I pray.

1. Our God is a God of compassion, the Father of mercy … may He have compassion on this city and His people within its walls.

A Preacher and a Poet

/ Heather Davis Nelson / 4 Comments

When Seth and I took a much needed break to just “get away” to Philadelphia’s own Fairmount Park, we came across these two statues. They were side by side, standing in tribute to two of the various callings that have built our nation. Since we were practicing being tourists in our own city on Saturday afternoon, we couldn’t resist a couple pictures. It really is quite an apt description of what each of us brings to our marriage! And how each of us relates to the world.

in response to a bee (or wasp or hornet) sting

/ Heather Davis Nelson / 3 Comments

I’m newly amazed by the power of a little buzzing insect to cause minor (at least) disruption to my life. I got stung by something (which I didn’t even see before OR after) while walking down a street in Chestnut Hill on Friday. It quickly began to swell up … and I quickly began searching for some type of remedy. I’ve tried them all — to almost no avail.

In order of what I’ve tried in the past 48 hours:

1. hydrocortisone anti-itch cream (as you’ll see, should’ve stuck with this one)

2. Benadryl anti-itch spray

3. Ice

4. Baking soda paste (3 tsp baking soda + 1 tsp water)

5. Honey

6. Aveeno anti-itch calamine cream

7. Baking soda/vinegar/chopped onion paste ** this was a really low point

8. Toothpaste (for real — this was recommended as a #1 home remedy here: http://www.slate.com/id/2088863/ )

And finally after talking to an ER nursing administrator this morning who I go to church with, she recommended hydrocortisone anti-itch cream. Which is, as you see, going full circle!!

My conclusion: take Benadryl. It (a) knocks you out so that you truly will stop itching (b) works internally to significantly decrease the swelling. And when you have to be awake, go with ICE on top of the hydrocortisone cream (which didn’t significantly decrease itching but does decrease swelling). Twenty minutes of application, forty minutes of rest … repeat until you can’t feel it anymore.

beach musings

/ Heather Davis Nelson / 1 Comment

I wrote this from Kiawah Island, a beach about 45 minutes south of Charleston, South Carolina. (a REAL beach, I say, tongue-in-cheek to these Philadelphians who consider the New Jersey shore THE beach) And believe you me, I’ve had many moments to put into practice what I had the time and luxury to theorize about! (see the last paragraph about death/life)

I hope you’ll be encouraged to look for grace, wherever you are in your life today…

I sit on a porch perhaps a half mile from the beach. Sunlight drifts in through the screens and the palmetto trees. There’s a golf course in the background. Faint happy noises of families vacationing, kids playing, birds calling out to each other. The evening crickets are warming up for their nightly symphony. I am alone but also near to my family. Mom’s inside cleaning up after supper; Dad’s with Seth playing a few holes of golf. We are at peace here.

It’s beautiful. Very. Exquisitely so. I’m going to try to focus on the present beauty that must surround me at any given moment. If my Creator is good and beautiful, as is His creation, there must be some of His exquisite nature that peeks through despite the sin. It’s so easy though to focus on the sin.

As I take a step back from my profession for a week, I’m realizing that many days it feels like I focus on sin. Whether mine, theirs, or someone who’s hurt them. I’m bombarded with the harsh reality of sin and its damage to a world created to be perfect. I hate sin. I hate what it does to me, to others, to those controlled by it and blinded by it.

So I think I am going to need to be much more intentional about looking at grace. Reflecting on it, watching for its beautifying presence even in the midst of sin and its consequences. I need it so that I worship God for who he is and enjoy others for the gifts they are. We are saints, after all (those of us in Christ). Oh, to truly live out of this promising reality! Rather than the despair of being a sinner.

I want newness. No more stale worship or half-hearted relationships. I also know this is impossible to perfectly arrive at this side of heaven. But how do we live in the in-between without either becoming a naïve idealist or a cynic pessimist?

The cross. Redemption. That must have something to do with it. The hope of the “already and not yet” can’t be felt without the reality of the cross and resurrection. Jesus died and rose again. So I will live through death – both the kind of death which will be a doorway to Heaven and the many varieties of death that living out redemption in the here-and-now will entail. Death to my time, to controlling every moment of my schedule, to trying to keep life clean when it gets messy, to my preferences, to anything that gets in the way of Life that is really life.

why I go to church

/ Heather Davis Nelson / 2 Comments

I’ll be honest. This morning was one of those mornings when I felt like sleeping in would have been more valuable than going to church. Attending “Bedside Baptist” or “Church of the Holy Comforter” is what we termed it at my Christian college when we (or our friends) skipped church to sleep in. It makes sense, right, that I can meet God alone just as well as at church?

Yes, and no. In our individualistic society, we have the false notion that we can be sufficiently self-contained in ourselves if we try hard enough, read the right things, listen to the right people. But the reality is that God created us for community. In my own private worship time with God, there are glaring sins I miss because I’m blind to them. How can I see? Through people around me lovingly pointing them out in a way that points me to Jesus. My husband can see sins that I conveniently ignore (and vice versa). Even more so in church, I am drawn to worship God in a way that I wouldn’t be able to alone. Singing worship songs alone can minister to my soul, but it falls short of the awe found in worshiping by singing that same song with a whole congregation. Praying alone can be sweet, but I’m easily distracted and not nearly so focused as when praying alongside other brothers and sisters in Christ. Hearing their prayers focuses me and directs me to pray in ways I wouldn’t have come up with on my own. I love that during our church’s congregational prayer time, I hear different people spontaneously voicing their prayers — of thanksgiving, confession, worship, or request. When it comes time for the sermon, I always hear something that I wouldn’t have challenged myself with and I see a new way of reading a portion of God’s Word.

Why do I go to church? Because I need church. Even when I don’t know I need (maybe especially so then), I need it. I need my brothers and sisters in Christ to point me back to the gospel through their prayers, words of encouragement, sermon, hymn-singing, honest doubts and questions.

This morning as I was wrestling through why to go to church, I read a chapter in Eugene Peterson’s book “A Long Obedience in the Same Direction” that reminded me of all of this. He says it much more succintly and poetically than me, so I hope you’ll enjoy it as much as I did:

If we stay at home by ourselves and read the Bible, we are going to miss a lot, for our reading will be unconsciously conditioned by our culture, limited by our ignorance, distorted by unnoticed prejudices. In worship we are part of “the large congregation” where all the writers of Scripture address us, where hymn writers use music to express truths that touch us not only in our heads but in our hearts, where the preacher who has just lived through six days of doubt, hurt, faith, and blessing with the worshipers speaks the truth of Scripture in the language of the congregation’s present experience. We want to hear what God says and what he says to us: worship is the place where our attention is centered on these personal and decisive words of God.