Author: Heather Davis Nelson

when you break Lent (and it breaks you)

/ Heather Davis Nelson / 5 Comments

This is a post from three years ago, and it’s worth reposting. Because it’s just as true for me now as it was then. The only difference is that my Lenten fast is much smaller now – but it’s still more than what I can do on my own strength!

I offer this as an encouragement to look up and out to Jesus. He is our hope, and He is the whole point of Lent. It’s the journey to the cross.

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Lent.

The period of 40 weekdays that in the Christian Church is devoted to fasting, abstinence, and penitence.

I chose what I thought would be four hard but do-able items for my Lenten fast this year. Call me an overachiever, or more accurately, an over-estimator of my own strength. A month ago I posted about my hopes for Lent. How hard could it really be? And how refreshing and empowering could it be! In taking away many of my heart’s distractions – phone apps, Target, sweets, t.v. – I assumed that God would replace my heart’s misplaced affections with a renewed love for Christ and the people around me.

About three weeks in, I broke Lent. Fully and completely. Not just one day, but I think it was about every day of the week and I broke every single “fast” multiple times. I rationalized why for each of them.

  • Going to Target will help me stick to our family budget on some key grocery items like Kashi cereal and goldfish.
  • “Non-essential” phone app category expanded dramatically. I started Lent with 6 icons on my home screen that I deemed “non-essential.” I’m ending Lent with twice as many.
  • Television is the only way that my husband and I can really share down time together after busy days in the midst of a busy week
  • I really just “need” a quick pick-me-up. Nothing like a bite of chocolate to do that.

My response to breaking Lent? First, my typical pull-yourself-up-by-your-boot-straps approach: “Just try harder, Heather. Get it together. You can do it!” As this failed, I descended to self-blame, punishment, guilt and shame. “This is really not that hard. There are millions of people in the world who LIVE without these things daily, and you can’t just go without for 40 days?? What is wrong with YOU?” That also got me nowhere fast.

And then I realized that maybe this is the real purpose of Lent. To reveal (again) that I cannot fulfill the Law. Any law – of God’s eternally perfect law, other people’s expectations, or my own standards. Maybe Lent is meant to show me how little I can do in my own strength, and therefore how MUCH I need Jesus and His life, death, and resurrection that we celebrate at Easter. Truth echoed in these verses from Romans 3:19-20 –

Now we know that whatever the law says it speaks to those who are under the law, so that every mouth may be stopped, and the whole world may be held accountable to God. For by works of the law no human being will be justified in his sight, since through the law comes knowledge of sin.

Breaking Lent is one way that the law breaks me. It’s a beautiful breaking, for it leads me to the One who restores and makes new. If I didn’t practice a Lenten fast this year, I would be that much less aware of my helplessness to gain eternal life and a relationship with God on my own strength or efforts. And so, in an upside-down backwards way, breaking Lent has broken me of trying and pointed me in desperate hope to Jesus whose death we remember this week and whose life we celebrate next Sunday. Listen to this hope found in Romans 5:6 and 21 –

For while we were still weak, at the right time Christ died for the ungodly. … so that … grace also might reign through righteousness leading to eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord.

As we round the final corner of Lent, walking into Holy Week’s somber reflections, let us remember that we cannot earn Easter on our own merit. Our best trying leaves us hopeless. Let us fall in our weariness and allow Jesus to pick us up and bring us with Him to the cross and then the hope of the empty tomb this week and always.

Five Minute Friday: limit

/ Heather Davis Nelson / 5 Comments

Five Minute Friday is especially perfect if you, like me, find any of the following true of you: (a) Not sure what to write about or where to start today (or this week/month), (b) Struggle against demons of perfectionism when you do write – wanting it to be “perfect” before releasing it to the world, and/or (c) Want to practice the courage of overcoming (a) and/or (b) in a safe and supportive community.

Join me today?

Five Minute Friday is my favorite of writing link-ups hosted by Kate Motaung. Her description draws me back every week, and the community of FMF keeps me writing – “This is meant to be a free write, which means: no editing, no over-thinking, no worrying about perfect grammar or punctuation. Just write.”

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I kick against a limit, assuming that it’s meant to keep me from abundance.

The truth is that my limits are pleasant boundary lines, a fence outlining the abundant pasture I’ve been given to explore.

(And there is more than enough to satisfy me here in this verdant pastures – Psalm 23.)

fence

photo source here

Limits are sometimes-painful reminders of my humanity, my sin, and/or my stage of life. I was talking to a friend just this week about how hard it is for her/me/us to live within our God-given limits of this season of mothering young preschool-age children. We vacillate between trying to do it all/be it all to our children and our families – and getting burned out because we don’t realize the limits here. Limits like – I can’t keep answering non-stop questions of curious 5-year-olds all day and then also be smiling and cheerfully pitching in to help with bath and bedtime each night alongside my husband AND then have lots of energy left to engage him and the tasks left on the to-do list I’ve set aside in order to focus and connect with my kids. NOR can I try to be engaged in my community, my work, my hobbies, my artistic pursuits wholeheartedly the way I did before I had kids to care for. (Nor the way I hope to return to this when they are out of the house for a longer school day, or in college, or beyond …).

Limit feels like discipline but creates freedom. Freedom to rest in what I’ve been given. Freedom to believe that the One who gives it to me is good and desires to delight me and fulfill me. Even (or especially) within these limits.

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9 things I learned in January: from Buffer to Freedom Firm

/ Heather Davis Nelson / 6 Comments

I am linking up with a favorite blogger and author, Emily P. Freeman (Grace for the Good Girl, A Million Little Ways, and Simply Tuesday), for her monthly series “what I learned.” It’s a fun way to summarize each month and take stock of it, and to share things that are a mixture of serious and silly/fun.

1 – To rest takes a lot of work. As my husband starts a 3-month pastoral sabbatical, and I get the privilege of joining him on this break, it’s been surprisingly hard to slow down as I need to and have been longing to do. I think it’s akin to stepping off a moving sidewalk (like at the airport) – there’s a bit of a jolt as your gait has to readjust to “normal.” Cue the metaphor for going from crazy busy to rest.

michael hyatt

2 – Michael Hyatt = amazing virtual “platform-building” coach. Thanks to my friend and fellow writer/blogger/speaker, Leigh Ellen, for encouraging me to check out his podcasts.

3 – Buffer is an easy way to regularly schedule updates to Twitter and Facebook. (Consistency can be difficult for me in every area of life, so I appreciate any and all tools that help me stay on track.)

4 – I have “donated” $135.35 to our public library since 2010. My donations have been in the form of library fines. Oh, yeah. At least it’s for a good cause? (I tell myself.)

anna quindlenannie dillard

5 – Anna Quindlen and Annie Dillard are two different authors. For some reason I thought they were one and the same. They’re not. I’ve greatly enjoyed both of their writings, two books which made it to my favorite books of 2015 list.

6 – Making the right choice for your family and yourself doesn’t necessarily feel easy or good all the time. As I’m choosing a 9-month sabbatical from counseling to devote more time to parenting my twin 5-year-old daughters (among other factors), I have to dig deep to stay motivated for the shift in pace/focus/energy. I love my daughters, and I am convinced this is what’s right – but it doesn’t mean I don’t wrestle with this decision. It’s a good place for me to be – reminding me of how dependent I am on God’s love and strength and sufficient grace for the new challenges that are ever-present.

path

7 – Visioning energizes me, whether it’s my own personal vision, talking with someone else about theirs, or creating a vision with my husband for our family during this season of sabbatical. Speaking of vision – I’d love to introduce you to my friend Dan who’s a life coach and a former colleague of mine from my days working as a recruiter at Serge. Check out his blog here that talks about his new venture of life coaching. And while I’m talking about life coaches, I had the great experience of a visioning seminar with local coach Melissa. I highly recommend her seminars!

8 – Looking at kindergarten for our daughters has been unexpectedly emotional for me. I’ve felt on the verge of tears after each school tour we’ve taken. This milestone for our girls in the fall of 2016 feels huge and momentous. (Even though they’ve been in preschool for three years already!)

light at the end of a tunnel

9 – The biggest impact Freedom Firm (based in India) has seen for rescuing victims of human trafficking comes through prosecuting brothel-keepers. Oh, that there would be more justice and more rescues in this crucial arena of fighting darkness with light! 

 

 

who’s at your bonfire?

/ Heather Davis Nelson / 6 Comments

Last weekend I attended the 30th birthday party for my youngest brother. I’m the big sister of two younger brothers, although they’ve long since surpassed me in height. So now I look like the little sister. (But my wrinkles prove otherwise. Ha!) I am proud of both of my brothers for the husbands, fathers, and hard-working professionals that they are. I love them dearly, and their wives are like the sisters I never had. Since we live far away from each other, family gatherings are more infrequent than we’d choose, but we try to make the moments count when we’re together.

bonfireSo last weekend I drove the hours necessary to be present at his monumental birthday party. And it was a blast! My favorite part had to be the bonfire in the backyard of the extensive property where he lives. As we huddled around the warm glow, the circle of family and friends who love my brother was enviable (in the best of ways). He’s stayed close to home, and so present at the bonfire-birthday-party was a friend he’s known since they were toddlers – who had his own toddler in tow. There was also another good friend he’s known since high school, and a guy he had mentored as well as his incredible boss/employer who’s mentored him. There were representatives of the family – parents and in-laws and a sibling and nieces and a nephew – and we all enjoyed gathering around the bonfire with one another. We came together to celebrate this friend/family member whose joy for life has always been contagious.

And it made me think as the chill in the air increased, and we all began moseying back inside and into our cars and back to our homes – the bonfire is a great image for a circle of friends and family. Ones who’ve made our history with us, who remember the stories we’d rather forget or the moments so beautiful for having been shared.

To gather all the friends I love around a bonfire would entail literally flying people in from the corners of globe – from Singapore and Nairobi, Kenya – and from coast to coast, North/South/East/West.

And isn’t that the picture of heaven? We will all come around – gather together – around the One we love, whose Joy welcomes us in and warms our hearts with the Spirit’s fire.

I’ll leave you with a verse that gives words to this vision from Isaiah 60 –

“Arise, shine, for your light has come,
    and the glory of the Lord rises upon you.
2 See, darkness covers the earth
    and thick darkness is over the peoples,
but the Lord rises upon you
    and his glory appears over you.
3 Nations will come to your light,
    and kings to the brightness of your dawn.

4 “Lift up your eyes and look about you:
    All assemble and come to you;
your sons come from afar,
    and your daughters are carried on the hip.
5 Then you will look and be radiant,
    your heart will throb and swell with joy;..”

 

 

Top 11 Favorite Books Read in 2015

/ Heather Davis Nelson / 1 Comment

Each year I catalog my favorite books read throughout the year. I try to write about them along the way in this space, and yet I inevitably read many more than you hear about – and sometimes I overlook my very favorites.

So I annually look back at the year past and record my favorite books read. For 2015 I give you not a countdown as in the past – a rating from #11 to #1 – but I’m giving you my top favorites in the five categories I read from most often.

#5 Parenting

No -Drama Discipline by Daniel Siegel – This builds on his foundational teaching in Whole-Brain Child and makes it practical. Literally included are cartoons showing you as a parent how to implement his teaching on parenting. I would be lying if I told you that our home has transformed and there is never any drama ever – but this lays out a worthy goal to aim for, which has resulted in small changes. Like being emotionally more attuned to our daughters, even and especially in the midst of moments of discipline.

#4 Motivational

The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up – by Marie Kondo – Wow. Just wow. It has been magic in our home, and I have a long way to go before I’m at the place where I would say I’ve finished her method of home-organizing (a.k.a. “radical purging”). At least with Kondo, I have a map of what’s next and directions as to how to get there.

Rising Strong – by Brené Brown – Read my review here. I love Brown’s work, and her latest book continues in her trajectory of thought, inspiring action and courage – especially in the midst of so-called failures.

#3 Writing

The Writing Life by Annie Dillard – I felt like I was on a writing retreat with Dillard as she described her process of writing candidly. Writing can be incredibly isolating, but somehow this book makes a writer feel less so as you nod your head in agreement at the inevitable highs and lows of the writing process.

If You Want to Write: A Book About Art, Independence, and Spirit  by Brenda Ueland – If Dillard’s book felt like a companion, Ueland’s book became like the writing coach I’ve always wanted. She gives helpful pointers like how to find your voice, and how good writing is best done in the midst of real-life – not separate from it on the proverbial “mountain top.” A classic and a must-read for all my fellow writers out there!

#2 Fiction

Still Life with Bread Crumbs by Anna Quindlen – Quindlen’s fiction is poetic and her narrative is gripping. You’ll savor each page – pun intended.

 The Space Between Us by Thrity Umbrigar – A piercing piece that transports the reader to another culture and unexpected joys and tragedies of a close network of relationships.

 All the Light We Cannot See by Anthony Doerr – Amazing. Page-turner – beautifully written. Worth the hype and the Pullitzer Prize 1000 times over.

#1 Spiritual/Devotional/Christian Non-Fiction

Women of the Word: How to Study the Bible with both our Hearts and Minds by Jen Wilkin – I call this gem of a book a condensed and highly accessible version of everything I learned in seminary about studying the Bible. Jen will feel like a friend and mentor as she takes you through her process of Bible study, making God’s Word come alive in new ways and coaching you through owning your Bible study for yourself.

A Loving Life by Paul Miller – Miller’s book met me with hope mixed with challenge, giving me the push and courage I needed to depend on Jesus’ life of love within me as I loved those around me. He uses the book of Ruth as a guide for looking at what it means to lay down your life in “one-way love” – a “one-way love” that is motivated and empowered by the ultimate “one-way love” of God for us in Jesus Christ.

Simply Tuesday: Small-Moment Living in a Fast-Moving World by Emily Freeman – Freeman’s book is another favorite of hers. This book more than any others I read continues to reverbate through my soul, calling me to notice the sparkle of the ordinary and the gift found in sitting and being still. The result has been a deeper willingness to embrace the mundane and a more pervasive joy in even the “simply Tuesday” moments of my life.

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five minute friday (returns): first

/ Heather Davis Nelson / 2 Comments

It’s been too long since I last joined in “Five Minute Friday.” Here’s a description, by way of reminder:

Five Minute Friday is my favorite of writing link-ups hosted by Kate Motaung. Her description draws me back every week, and the community of FMF keeps me writing – “This is meant to be a free write, which means: no editing, no over-thinking, no worrying about perfect grammar or punctuation. Just write.”

Join me today? A perfect *first* post if you, like me, find that it’s 8 days into the new year and you haven’t blogged yet in 2016. !!

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First. The word can bring tears to my eyes. Tears of joy because isn’t it this “first love” that God has for us what allows any of us to love Him or anyone else in return? 

“First” stands in line ahead of a string of days in a year that still feels fresh, not as marred by pain and weariness as last year certainly was for me/us.

“First” can also be proud and gallant. And it crushes me to know that as a firstborn, it can too often become my modus operandi in relationships of all kinds. What makes me a good leader can cause me to be a difficult one to lead.

So this year – I want it to be the first year where I learn to lead by letting others go first. I want to be the first to listen, the first to apologize, the first to take “the low place.” It would be a good corrective for my life of pushing ahead and pushing others aside.

First – all of this is only possible because there is a God who loved me first. Who set aside his rights and took the low place – the vulnerable place – the place of clothing himself in the strength that seems counter-intuitive. A strength that calls us to “seek first the Kingdom of God, and all these other things will come” – a Kingdom characterized by its leader who took the place of a humble baby, then a servant who washed feet, and a sacrifice in our place. Because he was showing us how to love – and empowering us to love and keep loving first by putting ourselves last.

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Sneak preview for coming posts: 

  • List of top 10 favorite books read in 2015 (last year’s post here)
  • Word of the year (2015: focus)

I hope you’ll stop back by soon! 

a farewell meditation to 2015

/ Heather Davis Nelson / 1 Comment

Today is bittersweet.

Tomorrow the calendar turns to a new year, leaving this one behind us.

May we hold close the moments of 2015 where you, God, showed up in new and perhaps surprising ways.

May we let go of all that we can and should and need to as we relinquish our failures, disappointments, sins – and those of others.

May we hold dear the ones who were born to us this year.

And may we cherish the memory of those we said good-bye to this year, the tears leading the way down our pathways of grief – a pathway that leads to the heart of God who weeps with and for his people.

Our hearts can be at rest as we look backward and as we seek what’s next because our hearts rest in the Faithful God, unchanging from age to age. 

Herein lies our hope for 2016’s horizon dawning a bit brighter than that of 2015.

Herein lies our hope that if 2016 feels markedly bleaker and darker than 2015, we will not be lost. For Jesus never loses his sheep, and he carries us close to his heart.

Happiest of New Years to you, readers!  

 

 

the Christmas of unexpected Joy

/ Heather Davis Nelson / 5 Comments

For a long time, 2015 will be remembered as the Christmas when we were barely hanging on, and the Advent of finding joy in unexpected places. I told my physician-brother a few months ago that if there were a clinical diagnosis for “too busy,” Seth and I would have met the criteria for it several months ago. It is just too easy for two over-achievers to keep doing and forget to rest, relax, and take a break. To focus on who really matters: God, each other, our daughters, and the family and friends we love dearly. And I guess I should speak for myself – Seth does a way better job of this taking a break than I do. My counseling heart and artistic impulse are gifts … but they have the dark side of my tendency to say “yes” to more people and projects than I can adequately follow through.

This fall has been the process of me taking a giant step back – a step out of leading our small group, teaching women’s Bible study, over-scheduling with extra-familial commitments and appointments, and a step back that culminated in a decision to take a sabbatical from my counseling practice starting January 1, 2016. There are many reasons for this particular timing – two of them being:

(1) My pastor-husband will be graciously receiving the gift of a sabbatical from our church from February through April (an every 7-years-rhythm they’ve established for the pastors) – and I want to join him for that.

(2) My first book is being released in June, and I needed/wanted space to devote to this venture.

In the stepping back, there is much that I already miss – chiefly among them, the courageous women and men I’ve had the privilege of sitting with and walking together through stories of love, loss, and hope despite the darkest of backgrounds. (I do find myself already counting down the months until I will reengage with this calling again!)

Yet this is the beauty of God’s gifts of realizing our limitations: the limitations form the boundaries of our truest calling.

Until I said no to over-scheduling, I couldn’t have known the joy of just being … of writing … of enjoying the gift of a quiet home the mornings our daughters are at preschool … of being present for their many unscheduled moments (highs & lows) that happen when I’m here to notice them. I couldn’t have known the frustrations that push me deeper into faith in a God who sees – the frustrations that come when I see how poorly I love my family for whom I profess undying love (and when I experience their imperfect love towards me, too).

And herein lies the beauty of this Christmas-Advent season: in slowing down (being forced to, might I add, due to a litany of never-ending illnesses), Joy still came. Despite what felt like barely hanging on in terms of health and the fullness of our days and the way we typically celebrate Christmas (lots of parties both hosted and attended, etc.) – Joy came in being still and quiet enough to notice The Greatest Gift, Jesus. Jesus ushered in the best gifts of this season:

  • grace given and received in the midst of fraying emotions and harried tasks
  • a beautiful painting by a dear friend
  • a necklace for this season, reminding me to “be still and know”
  • a bracelet from my beloved, and all the love that is patient that it represents
  • words to speak to you and to God – expressing my heart and inviting us deeper still into the mystery that is Jesus
  • many hot cups of tea sipped while editing the manuscript of a book I need more than anyone else possibly could
  • gifts from neighbors for us and our girls – and the gift of having great neighbors!
  • family and friends who continue to love us through our imperfect moments and to lavish us with their time, attention, and generosity

For all of these gifts … for the Greatest Gift to match my deepest need … all I can say is what’s been sung for generations (reminding you and me that “faithful” is not what we are in our own efforts, but what Jesus calls us who cling to him by faith):

o come all ye faithful

order your print from Etsy here

WANTED: a Christmas miracle

/ Heather Davis Nelson / 4 Comments

Our world is weary, sorrow-laden, desperately longing for hope. And so are we. Last year I felt the weight of a friend grieving the loss of her mother (while she was pregnant with twins), a friend waiting for a friend-gone-missing to be found – in all of it, it’s the waiting that is so weighty.

This year is no different, although the burdens I feel are. They’re taking the shape of a friend who’s been recently diagnosed with breast cancer and awaits her prognosis/treatment plan; another friend who just made it through her mom’s year of cancer treatment only to find out her dad’s been diagnosed, too; a beloved leader who’s sitting in the question of what the spots on his mom’s lungs could be; and those are just the start, aren’t they?

Moving the circle a bit closer to home, I could tell you the story of a pastor-counselor couple who are on the verge of burn-out and desperately limping toward the gift of a sabbatical in February. It’s a story of seeking to find one another again after nine years of marriage and ministry, including five years of parenting twins. It’s a story that includes the expected dips and peaks of disappointment and joy that come with life. It’s a story with unexpected hope that shines light into the darkest moments.

And it’s a story that leaves me longing this Advent – this Christmastide – for the best and surest and most wild Christmas miracle that I could ask for: darkness-defying songs in our hearts and on our lips.

I can report this to you: the Christmas miracle we need is coming to us. Because it already came — wrapped up in a baby, in the most unassuming of places (a stable in Bethlehem) and to the most scandalous of families (a pregnant unwed mother whose fiance hurriedly married her as soon as he could to prevent scandal and out of radical obedience to God). Because God took on human flesh, I can shed the shame that cloaks me (when I think about my failure to celebrate this season as I should/could/desire to) and the depression that wants to own me. I can take on a new identity: life, joy, peace – that are real. And I can follow our five-year-old daughters as they lead the way in worship of our newborn King. As they gleefully proclaim, “Glory to God in the highest!” even when out of context (in response to news that they were going to get to watch TV while my husband and I chatted with dinner guests). As they spontaneously break out into choruses of “Silent Night,” “Joy to the World,” and “Away in a Manger,” while we’re driving through the December schedule of gift-buying, Christmas programs, and generally-trying-to-fit-too-much-into-Advent.

Jesus came as a baby, and his life was prophesied by Isaiah this way: “A little child will lead them.” (11:6)  And in following Jesus, we will be led by the children in our midst in surprising ways at times. Our daughters are leading us into the Christmas miracle our weary hearts need – which is a miracle of joy.

 

my favorite things

/ Heather Davis Nelson / Leave a comment

A friend told me about attending a “Favorite Things” party this year, and besides feeling like that must have been the best kind of party ever, it also inspired me to think about my favorite things and to create a list to share with you. RPCo Calendar 2016Rifle Paper Co. wall calendar. My friends know how *obsessed* I am with everything RPCo. Not the least of which is because I know the founder, Anna Bond. And by “know,” I mean that I’ve met her a couple times because my husband grew up with her in New Jersey. Her older brother was in our wedding; her mom helped to host two beautiful showers for me in NJ (bridal and baby); and so *of course* I love promoting her products. (Which honestly promote themselves – she and her business partner-hubby have done amazingly well over the past few years, which is putting it very modestly.)

journaling bible

The ESV journaling Bible –Beautifully typeset, art-worthy cover design, AND space to write/draw in the margins. It’s a no-brainer for this writer-artist-who loves the life-giving words of the Bible. They carry many other covers and designs here, including this one that male readers may find a bit more appealing: esv journaling bible - black

And while you’re buying Bibles, consider this one for your 5-10 year old:

ESV children's Bible

My five-year-old daughters’ top toys on their wish list:

palace petsPalace Pets

 

Disney Frozen sing-a-longDisney Frozen Sing-a-long

 

magnetic tilesMagnetic tiles

model magicModel magic

 

 

Brené Brown’s “Living Brave” semester 

living-brave-semester

“The Living Brave Semester is a unique, online learning experience that provides participants with the opportunity to explore what it means to fully show up in our lives – to be brave, lean into vulnerability, and to rumble with the challenges that come with living a daring life. The semester is divided into two six-week sessions. The first six-week session will focus on Daring Greatly and the second session will focus on Rising Strong.” (click on highlighted title to read my review of the book at The Gospel Coalition Blog)

These curtains at Pottery Barn kids:

PB curtains

And, of course, no list of my favorite things would be complete without a few books:

Permission to Parent

 

 

This parenting book is my #1 go-to right now. Published in 2014, I keep thinking, “Where has this parenting book been all my life?” (Or at the very least, for the past three years of seeking to parent two delightful and strong daughters without crushing their spirits OR appeasing their demands.)

journey to joyThe devotional gem Josh Moody has written about the Psalms of Ascent are leading my heart along with its words to hope and joy in Jesus.

For the LoveJen Hatmaker’s latest has done all that it promised – made me laugh, cry, and feel like she’s my new best friend while pointing me to life’s truest calling: Love.

 

[Note: There are affiliate links for the Amazon items, meaning that Amazon will give me a teensy-tiny portion of whatever you decide to order. It’s the *only* monetizing I’ve done with my blog, intentionally so because I want to keep this space advertising- and offer-free. We get enough marketing in every other aspect of our lives, Amen?!]