This one will be fresh from the journal – a blog repost from November 10, 2010, when the twins were about 2 months old. I can remember this like it was yesterday. Except that so much of it was/is a blur. !
Being a mom to twins is like being a waitress in a very busy restaurant, known for its regular and often grumpy customers. If you have down time, you better be doing something because you never know exactly when you’ll get slammed with tables. And it’s like being a hostess at a restaurant trying to figure out which customer is more patient – and which is least likely to be ok with a long wait. You don’t always guess right. And you’re the one who suffers the most. And if you use down time as a chance to just veg out, you’ll be that much more insane later – and it just won’t work.
Like earlier today when I used a few minutes to just sit and check email. Instead of make sure that I had the “supplies” for the next feeding, which consists of two bouncy seats, a boppy pillow, pacifiers, two bottles, two mugs with hot water to warm the bottles, formula, “the notebook” (where we meticulously record the details of feeding and “output” because let’s be honest, with twins it’s hard to remember much beyond the past 30 minutes), a burp cloth and a bib [and if I’m really thinking I also include a glass of water for me, a snack because I’m constantly hungry, and a magazine for me to read which helps the time pass more quickly].
L. woke up ravenous, alerting me with her hungry wail. And I quickly jumped back into action. But I forgot one important supply. And I didn’t realize it until I had begun feeding A. – and L. wasn’t content to just “chill out” in her bouncy seat. It was the pacifier. As well as the bottles “on the ready” which would now need to be warmed. And it was all the way upstairs in their nursery. Which would have entailed interrupting her sister’s feeding session … leaving TWO screaming babies … and so I didn’t.
And when my friend called who was coming over with lunch and to hold a baby (bless her!), she kindly asked if she could call back in a few minutes (because L. was screaming in the background). I told her that it wouldn’t help … it was likely to be the same situation. Such is a moment in the day of a life with 9 week old twins.
I think I hear a cranky, hungry customer calling right now … must go.
As you read this, I would love to hear your thoughts if you’re a twin mom of whether this sounds familiar to you? What analogies would you use to describe the inimitable experience of twin newborns?
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2 thoughts on “Day 10: Hi, I’m a waitress to twins.”
With two years’ distance at this point, those early days are a blur — but I can so relate to this! I exclusively pumped until 11 months, so I also felt like a dairy cow and worried a lot about my supply. Once I learned to let go a bit and not track their intake and my output — and open the freezer 2564573 times a day to stare at my stash — my stress went down, and I made more milk too. Funny how that happens!
Recently I overheard a well-meaning friend telling someone else how easy my girls have been. I don’t think “easy” is the word I’d use!! It’s very hard work. “Do the next thing” is my mantra, and it makes the long days — and long nights — much more manageable.
Great words here, Stacy. It’s so much about learning to give yourself grace amidst what is legitimately VERY hard. “Do the next thing” also rings true for me now at age 5 … a different swirl of activity/etc … but I can only do one thing at a time anyway.