Five Minute Friday

day 10: care {& five minute Friday}

/ Heather Davis Nelson / 1 Comment

Ten days into the 31 day writing challenge, and I’ve got to admit I’m feeling a bit weary of it. But it’s like training for anything worthwhile, writing takes effort and it’s right when you most want to give up that you’ve got to keep on going – because now you’re growing. (That’s also what my barre instructor says and often I ignore her advice and put the weights down, for goodness’ sake because I can’t do it any longer.)

So I pause today, on this Friday, even for five minutes to write my heart out. Thank you, kind readers, for reading along and encouraging me that this pursuit is worthwhile.

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Care – I should know a lot about “caring” for I am in a profession called categorized as a “caring profession.” During the other 75% of my week, caring is what I do full-time for my twin 4-year-old daughters. But just exactly what is meant by “care”? 

Care is a burden and a relief lifted. A burden of mine and a relief given when you care about my cares. Just to get a little more complex, let’s think about all the various forms care can take. It’s not only what is cared for (noun), it’s what you do in reaching out to someone else with cares (verb), and it is the way a person, profession, or organization is described when it’s characterized by those who excel at interest attuned to the needs of others (adjective). And I haven’t even started thinking about all the ways we use care casually and flippantly about topics or people we are only mildly interested in or invested in but feel pressured to care about because, well, it’s part of being human to care about global warming and poverty and going green and saving the environment and performing random acts of kindness for strangers. (But care divorced from action – is it visible? I guess at least it’s a start.)

No discussion about care can be complete without speaking of the one from which all caring derives its source, whether aware or unaware. The one who says, “Cast all your cares on me, for I care for you.” (my very rough paraphrase of 1 Peter 5:7) To know that HE cares for me – the one who carries the entire world – I visibly relax and exhale. And I am released to go and do the same for you. To really care for you in a way that carries the burdens you’re carrying to make them lighter and to remind you of this One who Cares for you always.

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photo by paintermommy.com

photo by paintermommy.com

Day 3: new

/ Heather Davis Nelson / 6 Comments
new snow

photo from larainydays.blogspot.com

“Behold, I am making all things new.” (Revelation 21:5) Who doesn’t love new? Like a white blanket of snow unmarked by footprints, “new” begs for us to venture forth in joyful exploration. And new is what the world will be one day, and new is what we in Christ already are. We are the ones who display the “new” to come – the first sign of what will be fully realized at the end of time and the beginning of eternity.

New means we get another chance, that I never run out of grace to cover my sins and failures, that there is always hope for tomorrow and the next minute to be different. New means that I am not defined by who I’m not – I find new identity daily in grace and mercy that hides me securely in Jesus Christ.

What could this look like today, for you and for me? Not only that I walk in the joyous adventure of my new freedom in Christ, unfettered by past sins or future anxieties, but it means I can relate to you with forgiveness. Giving you a new chance to be who God is making you to be. At the end of a difficult day with my daughter, I lean in close as I’m kissing her goodnight and remind us both that tomorrow is a new day. What hope! What lightness – what fresh beauty awaits and what new mercy will cover tomorrow’s imperfections! I can continue to fight against idolatry and to invite you into the same. You will never be outside of the reach of redemption.

For behold, he is making ALL things NEW.

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Posting as part of 31 days and Five Minute Friday today.

 

Five Minute Friday: “hold”

/ Heather Davis Nelson / 2 Comments

It’s been a good week, of finally getting a sense of our fall rhythm, of looking ahead to a beach vacation with family, of more quiet moments than rushing-hurry-hurry ones. And so I return to Five Minute Friday, hosted by Kate Motaung, five minutes of writing unedited each Friday on a given prompt, with the word “hold.”

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You were so tiny that my finger dwarfed your arm. Your arm! At 5 lbs 6 oz. and 4 lbs 11 oz., you were small miracles. Miracles that waited through 10 weeks of strict bed rest before entering the world. And to finally hold you! To see the faces I had dreamt of – well, it made all 35 weeks of pregnancy worth it. Button noses, dark blue alert eyes, mouths that smiled as you slept your newborn dreams.

I thought I would never tire of holding you close. And I haven’t (most days). You still want to cuddle close after a bad dream or a skinned knee. There’s a unique way that you each settle in, laying your head on my shoulder with long legs that now stretch to my knees. Usually, it is this holding that is enough to calm you down. 

How you teach me! About settling in to my Father’s embrace – returning to him for comfort amidst emotional storms, leaning trustfully into his arms. 

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Five Minute Friday: “ready”

/ Heather Davis Nelson / 8 Comments

What a perfect word for this week of readying ourselves as we sink into the September schedule. Three days a week preschool; grandparents newly moved from New Jersey; fall church schedule starting up. Are we ready? Definitely not … but a good refuge is “Five Minute Friday” this week.

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photo credit: photographsbypeter.com

photo credit: photographsbypeter.com

“Ready or not, here I come!” Her call echoes through the halls of our home as she eagerly goes in search of her sister (who is likely hiding somewhere fairly obvious). Is she ready to be found? Always. Is her sister ready to seek? Definitely. In this brief interchange, there is a metaphor for relationship with the Divine. With our Creator. I think of the first “hide-and-seek” that happened in an idyllic garden. Perfectly perfect except for the sin that had just clothed Adam and Eve in shame. This time when God comes seeking them for their afternoon walk n’ talk, they hide. They do not run out to meet him, eagerly embracing the God who delights in them as his own image-bearers.

And ever since then, we too have been hiding. Hiding because we never feel ready. I was not ready to leave home for college in the Midwest; I certainly was not ready to be married or to parent twins or for my first counseling client. I am not ready for God to find me as I am. I need to clean up this corner; hide and straighten things out a bit. Smooth over the angry wrinkle in my heart; ameliorate the impatience; cleanse out those dirty stains.

God comes though, and he calls out gently, lovingly, “Ready or not, here I come!” For I cannot clean myself up without him. He knows and sees already the shame I want to hide. He pierces it through with his presence, exposing and healing and restoring in one fell swoop. In a great divine reversal, he makes me ready as I cry out that I am not.

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Five Minute Friday: whisper

/ Heather Davis Nelson / 3 Comments

What a whirlwind of a week! A happy whirlwind: girls returned to preschool on Wednesday and my in-laws moved down to Virginia from New Jersey the same afternoon. I have to admit that I love routine AND I already love having family living locally. For the first time ever in our 8 years of marriage.

Now – for writing this Friday morning, five minutes on a given topic each week. No editing; just writing.

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He has witnessed one of God’s most glorious mountaintop moments: fire coming down from heaven to consume an altar’s sacrifice, proving in the sight of hundreds of Baal worshipers that he is the True God. No wonder Elijah thought God would speak to him in thunder, or whirlwind. His was a big, glorious God who had stolen the headlines with his other “god”-defying powers. Now that Elijah was listening for God to speak to him, he was listening for BIG. 

But that’s now how God spoke. He was in a whisper. In the quiet. Elijah had to wait. To settle down his soul. To lean in close. For the God of the Big is also the God of the intimate. Who whispers to his people to let them know that he is close and to draw them closer to him. Whispering implies intimacy. It requires more intentional listening.

quietIn my bustling whirlwind, do I have time and space and quiet to listen? To lean in to God’s heart – to open up his word and listen to these words of life? Yes, he will meet me amidst the turmoil and the whirlwind, but what he truly delights in with his own? To draw them close and to whisper peace over their souls and into the crevices of our hearts that only he knows how to touch. 

What will he whisper? I don’t know. We don’t know what he said to Elijah. Just that it was in a whisper. And so quiet down and listen. He still speaks. But he won’t compete with the chaos. He waits for you to step away from it.

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Five Minute Friday: “reach”

/ Heather Davis Nelson / 6 Comments

A few quiet minutes this Friday morning because my husband has taken our girls on errands with him. Then we will together head to the girls’ new preschool to meet their teachers and other classmates. School starts next week. Hallelujah! We all are ready. And in bigger news, two of the gems of New Jersey (namely, my in-laws) will be moving down to us next Tuesday. We cannot wait for grandparents to arrive into town!

I join in Five Minute Friday – five minutes of writing unedited on a given topic each week.

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It was the last week of eighth grade, and I had yet to conquer the P.E. challenge of making it to “the beam team,” meaning that I would climb the 30 foot length of rope suspended from the gym ceiling. I was scrawny, not so strong by any standards. But that day, I made it. Maybe it was eighth grade adrenaline – who knows? But I reached the top of that beam, conquering fears and the apparent obstacle of my weakness. To reach the top – well, it surprised me and delighted me all at the same time.

photo credit: theblondecoyote.com

photo credit: theblondecoyote.com

I remember another time of straining to reach a summit. This one was a mountain in Ireland on a rainy, foggy day. I complained the entire time. Hiking just isn’t my thing, and I was out of breath and wondered if it would be worth it. Quite honestly, because the fog obscured any view, it did not feel very worth it to reach the top of that Irish mountain. At least I could say that I did it.

Reaching forward in life towards whatever it is that is your goal can feel similar. When I think of life goals of marriage, motherhood, career, I look back and it seems relatively simple. Like making “the beam team” despite myself. But when I think of looking ahead to bigger, less measurable life goals – like becoming more loving, more sacrificial of my time and resources, more gracious and less impatient – it can feel like that foggy Irish hike. Unsure of progress and unsure of whether it will feel worth it, I press on anyway.

Words come to mind from Paul in Philippians, and I feel like I may not be as alone and the goal may not be as unattainable as I feared:

Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already arrived at my goal, but I press on to take of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.

five minute Friday: “change”

/ Heather Davis Nelson / 4 Comments

It’s been a good week. How could one filled with a visit from cousins and Uncle J. and Aunt Nic. not be? We laughed together and enjoyed simply being together. In living 6 states apart, visits are few and far between and for that, all the richer. 

Back to Five Minute Friday … my favorite writing exercise, with a new “host” – Kate instead of Lisa-Jo. Find out more here.  

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To move from one condition to another will always bring pain and joy and beauty. Think of the caterpillar growing fat upon the leaf, then cocooned in darkness while metamorphosis works its magic to produce – voila! – a radiant colorful winged butterfly. Nature knows change is both inevitable and painful. The seasons moving from one to another and bringing creation with them, from the fresh glory of spring to the long beauty of summer, then fall’s radiance as the prelude to winter’s sometimes bitter calm and death. All is barren. All is white (or brown, down here in the South where we don’t see much of the glorious white flakes). 

edupic.net

edupic.net

We are all part of change. Some of it I embrace. Bring on maturity, please, for me and my children. A new season just as I’m tiring of the old one. A newly planted hydrangea that blooms tenfold next summer. Yes, for growth and change. But hold your horses before you go forcing losses on me, for that’s also part of the change. The caterpillar must surrender its caterpillar-ness and cozy cocoon to become a butterfly. The trees surrender their leaves to turn brilliant and then begin again. Hearts grieve with the distance of friends and family who move away. Communities heave with sorrow after tragedy. 

To think that there is One who never changes during all of my changes? That breathes hope into even the bitter losses of change, and it enlivens the best of changes. I will cling to this Unchanging One through all my changing days. 

five minute Friday: “bloom”

/ Heather Davis Nelson / 10 Comments

I so desperately long to write – but when? My three-year-old natives becomes so restless in the schedule-less summer, as do I. The days find me trying to entertain all of us through outings to the pool, or the air-conditioned mall, or the splash pad at the Norfolk Botanical Garden, or simply the sprinkler out front. By naptime, we are all exhausted and I sleep right alongside them. Instead of writing in my few stolen moments.

But for Five Minute Friday? Well, it’s *only* five minutes, and so here is a place I can always return. To keep my rusty writing skills a little less rusty. To keep practicing matching words to life, and placing words together to draw our souls upward to worship Beauty.

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photo credit: statesymbolsusa.org

photo credit: statesymbolsusa.org

Bloom. I think of wandering through fields of bring periwinkle blue blossoms, Texas bluebonnets, while visiting our Houston aunt and uncle and cousins. There is nothing quite so beautiful as a field in bloom. Sunflowers especially grab my imagination this time of year. Their bright, happy yellow faces greeting the day like eager children.

Something in bloom is evidently full of life. There is life coursing through its stems and its roots and it explodes in colorful blossoms. Oh, to bloom like this in life! To be a vehicle for the Life that is in me – the abundant, vibrant, never-giving-up, never-running-out Spirit. This is the hope of glory hidden within – of me hidden within this glory. Christ in you, the hope of [blooming] glory.

To spill over into my relationships with the hallmarks of this life – with love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness, faithfulness, and self-control. To imagine such a “field” of flowers – oh, how our churches and families and neighborhoods would change! Oh, how my heart would be at rest, reveling in the bloom of this glorious Life spilling over in a thousand beautiful ways. 

Five Minute Friday: lost

/ Heather Davis Nelson / 3 Comments

I write tonight from the rare bliss of a hotel room all to myself, after a day of refreshment at The Gospel Coalition Women’s conference. I’ve heard Tim and Kathy Keller both teach on the book of Nehemiah; been led in worship beautifully by the Gettys; and have had the opportunity to connect and reconnect with friends old and new. Not to mention the afternoon enjoyment of this resort-like pool here. It’s a little taste of heaven in every way! A rare gift to have all of this at once: community of friends from various stages of life (I’ve literally run into friends from all major epochs so far: South Carolina days, Wheaton, Westminster Seminary/CCEF, World Harvest Mission – all in one place. Wow. Last time this happened it was our wedding … !)

Now onto Lisa Jo’s Five Minute Friday. This week’s word: lost.

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We were in a grocery store, and I lost sight of her amidst the aisles of colorful food cartons and cans. I was terrified that I would never find her again. But after a brief few minutes, I found the mama I wanted as a five-year-old child.

picforparents.areavoices.com

picforparents.areavoices.com

A few years ago, it was reversed. And one of my blondies was there one moment and lost the next amidst the rows and rows and rows of clothes at Kohl’s. I looked everywhere for her and could not find her. I was feeling very panicked as I searched through two departments. I’ll never forget what it looked like to see her coming around the corner safely rescued by one of the staff.

Lost is terrifying. But in those few minutes before you realize you’re lost or that you’ve lost someone/something, you are blissfully unaware. If you’re the lost one, you may even think you’re free. Because to be lost can feel like freedom. Until you realize you’re unmoored from the source of life, of hope, of true safety and security. 

Mine is a story of not knowing I’ve been lost. Of being the good girl who always was finding others, never realizing that I needed to be found. And mine is a story of being rescued and found over and over and over again. Not physically (though that has certainly happened too during various cross-cultural travels), but spiritually. Being found by the God who delights in me and who always knows where and when and how to find me. Like how He is finding me here, in a solitary hotel room amidst 4000 women.

Show me where I’ve been lost, God, and lead me back home … through Your Word and Your people. Amen.

 

Five Minute Friday: release

/ Heather Davis Nelson / 12 Comments

It’s Friday. Hallelujah! It’s been a good, important, hard week. It’s been the best of times – news of two close friends having babies (Shelby’s #4 and Katherine’s #3); my most shared blog post ever over at The Gospel Coalition Blog; and then some intense ministry and life pressures and stressors that are inevitable when married to a pastor and working as a counselor, all while parenting two beautiful and strong-willed three-year-old princesses.

So I come here to this page thankful to be able to write and join in again with Lisa-Jo’s “Five Minute Friday” community. Five minutes of unedited free-writing on a different topic each week.

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firefly image

myjustliving.com

Release. What could it mean to release my art, my words, my love freely into the world? It’s an image of the fireflies we captured earlier this week and put in jars flying into the wild blue yonder again. They didn’t light up in captivity (much to our disappointment). What made them beautiful is the art they made when they were free. When we tried to capture them, to own them for ourselves, the art died (but they did not). Art can only be free when I am released from the cage of my expectations and my perception of yours. 

What would I do if I were released (which I am)? Released to create – to dabble again in painting for the sake of painting, to play the piano just for fun, to write words because I want to and I need to but not because I am expected to or need to get a certain number of stats to prove my worth.

Couldn’t I then in my freedom release those around me from the suffocating pressure I exert? To know I am released by one who was chained to a cross – the worst suffering imaginable – who was enslaved to death and chose not to be released – this makes my soul sing. This makes your soul free. I don’t need your applause for my identity and self-worth and writing. I simply need to release Jesus through my words and my art and my laughter and my relationships. And so do you. Jesus imprisoned that my soul would be set free. That ushers me into true release of the best kind – release from slavery to self’s corrosive power on my heart.